The Chosen One
by DLKster
Summary: This is really a parody of The Matrix. The character names are different(e.g. Morphman is Morpheus). If you didn't see the first Matrix and want to see it, don't read it... it will spoil you! Please r&r. Thanx ya and enjoy!!
1. Me?

The Chosen One: Me??? (Dman is in the office doing some typical office work in his cubicle)  
  
Dman: Darn. I hate work. Why did I take this job that pays me $50,000 per hour... all I really do is just breathe.  
  
(THe phone rings, Dman answers it)  
  
Dman: Hello?  
  
Morphman: Hi Neo... it been a long time.  
  
Dman: I'm not Neo.  
  
Morphman: Deo? Meo? Meow?  
  
Dman: I'm Dman you idiot!  
  
Morphman: Oh sorry, I got the wrong person.  
  
(Dman hangs up the phone and minutes later, the phone rings again and Dman picks it up)  
  
Morphman: It's me again. Neo is dead. Can you take its place, Dman?  
  
Dman: Hmm... ok.  
  
(So Dman escapes from the agents and is in a creepy room where Morphman offers Dman the blue pill and the red pill)  
  
Morphman: Choose the blue pill, you will be cool and handsome. Choose the red pill, you will wake up and find out you're not cool and handsome.  
  
Dman: What's wrong with you? I'm not allowed to take drugs from strangers!  
  
Morphman: Ok...  
  
(Morphman throws the pills and takes out a blue lollypop and a red lollypop)  
  
Dman: Blue lollypop.  
  
(Takes it and eats it)  
  
Morphman: Now you are one of us.  
  
Dman: Huh? You don't make sense...  
  
Morphman:(muttering) dodging bullets and crap.  
  
Dman: Oh cool!!!! 


	2. The Training Stuff

The Chosen One: The Training Stuff (Dman and Morphman are in the cockpit as the little flying thing goes through space. Dman just finished reborning)  
  
Dman: You liar! I thought I would be cool and handsome. Look at me! There are holes in my body and I'm bald!  
  
Morphman: Stop your whining! You'll soon discover your cool and handsome self soon.  
  
(Dman goes to his room and Trainity enters)  
  
Trainity: Where's the chosen one?  
  
Morphman: The REAL chosen is dead. I just took Dman just to replace him.  
  
Trainity: Huh? I don't think so. What is his name?  
  
Morphman: Neo  
  
Tranity: No wonder! That's not his name.  
  
Morphman: It isn't?  
  
Trainity: Yea! It's Meow! Let's pick him up right now! Wait, what do we do about Dman?  
  
Morphman: We'll just use him as bait for the agents like we did with Moose and Spikygirl.  
  
(Moments later, Trainity, Morphman, Meow, and Dman are sitting at a table)  
  
Morphman: ...and so the Matrix is a big thing. You get to dodge bullets and all that fun stuff.  
  
Dman: Will I be cool and handsome?  
  
Morphman:(irritated) For the exact 3,943th time, yes, you will be cool and handsome in the Matrix. Now, let's go and do the training to get you ready to face the Matrix. 


	3. Meet the Simulatrix

The Chosen One: Meet the Simulatrix (Morphman is leading Meow, Trainity, and Dman into a room with a bunch of chairs and stuff. There are chairs organized in a circle and a box labeled "stuff".)  
  
Dman: What is this room?  
  
Morphman: This is where the dodging bullet and all that crap start from here. You use the Simulatrix and enter the matrix.  
  
Dman: What is the matrix again?  
  
Meow:(groans) Ugh! Retard! The matrix is this big world thingy.  
  
Trainity:(to Dman) Idiot...  
  
Dman: Geez. I didn't mean to piss "meow meow boy" and "chu chu train" here.  
  
Morphman: Guys, we are wasting precious time. We must start the training. Now everyone take a seat.  
  
(Everyone except Morphman takes a seat on a chair.)  
  
Morphman: Now, we'll do a test drive. Just close your eyes and let your imagination take you to the training.  
  
(They start to close their eyes and use their imagination. Dman pictures himself in La La Land where everyone is happy. The flowers wave at him and the Barney the Pink Dinosaur gives him a hug. Then few seconds later, Morphman slaps his face to "wake him up")  
  
Morphman: What kind of imagination is that? Try again and do it right!  
  
(Dman tries again and sees himself on top of a building with Meow, Trainity, and Morphman.)  
  
Morphman: Now, you must know how to jump from building to building, especially when you have to pick up the pizza you ordered. Just believe in yourself blah blah blah and all that junk.  
  
Dman:(meditating) I see dead people.  
  
Morphman: DANG IT! JUST JUMP!  
  
(Morphman takes out a gun and points it at Dman.)  
  
Dman: You can't shoot me. I can dodge bullets!  
  
Morphman: You haven't learn that yet. Plus, two of our men died. So you can actually die.  
  
Dman: Mommy!  
  
(Dman jumps off to the other building)  
  
Morphman: Finally that idiot did something right  
  
(As Dman is still in air, he misses the second building and ends up falling down.)  
  
Dman: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Morphman: This is going to take a while...  
  
(Later on, Morphman and Dman are walking in a simulated city with lots of people)  
  
Dman: Why aren't Meow and Trainity with us?  
  
Morphman: Because they already learn everything the past few hours.  
  
Dman: Oh.  
  
Morphman: Dman, there are these agents out there. They are very scary and dangerous. They sometimes can be anyone...  
  
(Dman looks around and see the blond girl in a red dress. He runs to her and start punching her in the face.)  
  
Morphman: NO! NOT HER YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT!!!  
  
(The girl runs away crying and Dman looks at Morphman)  
  
Dman: Well, I thought the agents might fool me by looking like a hot blond girl.  
  
(There is a man dressed in a Chunky Chicken Costume giving out free samples)  
  
Dman: Wow! Free samples!  
  
(Dman runs up to the chicken guy and before Dman could grab a piece, the chicken guy pulls out a gun, pointing at Dman's head.)  
  
Dman: Mommy!  
  
Morphman: Freeze!  
  
(Time stop when Morphman says "freeze". Dman is also stopped in motion.)  
  
Morphman: You stupid moron. You're not frozen in time.  
  
(Dman slowly starts to move his arm.)  
  
Dman: Oh. Hm. These samples taste good. Want one?  
  
Morphman: How many training is it going to take to stuff it all down in your little pee brain?  
  
(The cell phone rings. Morphman picks it up and answers)  
  
Morphman: Hello?  
  
Trainity: Morphman. We got a major problem here. We ordered pizza and it has to be picked up in 15 minutes.  
  
Morphman: All right. We'll get there. Ok, Dman, for once don't screw up! End simulatrix.  
  
(The background and everything disappears. Morphman and Dman exits the Simulatrix) 


	4. Pizza Chase

The Chosen One: The Pizza Chase (Morphman, Meow, Trainity, and Dman are standing by the chairs, deciding who should go on the dangerous mission of picking up the pizza.)  
  
Morphman: Ok. I will go. But I need one more person to help me. Among the three of you, decide who is going.  
  
(Few seconds later)  
  
Meow: Ha! Laser gun beats rock!  
  
Dman: I don't remember a laser gun being in Rock, Paper, Scissor.  
  
Meow: This is the Matrix. There are many different changes from the world you used to live in.  
  
Dman: Fine. Ok, Morphman, let's go.  
  
Morphman: Oh why the heavens made me stuck with this mortal fool? He caused many distress within my poor soul. I must go on, and wish to the heavens that this fool will deserve its punishment!  
  
Dman: Huh? What are you saying?  
  
Morphman: Um...uh... it's a monolouge. Usually in monolouges, it's only what the character is saying what is on his mind. But no one could hear him.  
  
Dman: Oh. Ok. For a second, I thought you called me stupid. Let's go.  
  
(Then Dman and Morphman enters the matrix by using the Simulatrix that is powered by their imagination! So they ended up near the Bob's Pizza.)  
  
Morphman: Dman, don't do anything stupid.  
  
Dman: What can go wrong?  
  
(Dman sees a mailman walking down the street. He growls and start to chase the mailman.)  
  
Morphman: Dman! Arg!!!!  
  
(Moments later... Dman has a dog collar around his neck and he is tied to a stop sign)  
  
Morphman: This is for your own good. Now wait until I get the pizza. We only have five minutes left.  
  
(Dman whines like a sad dog. Morphman goes into the Bob's Pizza. Seconds later, Morphman dashes out holding a box.)  
  
Bob: My pizza! Oh my pizza! Someone help! Help!  
  
(People from ghostbusters pop up.)  
  
Ghostbuster#1: Who do you call...  
  
Ghostbuster#2: When you're showering...  
  
Ghostbuster#3: Who do you call...  
  
Bob: Shut up already! Someone stole my pizza! Get him!  
  
Morphman: Dman! Help me! Get those funky people with their funky weapons away from me!  
  
(Dman breaks from his chain and runs with Morphman)  
  
Ghostbuster#1: We're going to get you good! Oh wait a minute... we're ghostbusters. We only fight ghosts. Oh. No harm done.  
  
(The ghostbusters walk away)  
  
Bob: Ah idiot! My pizza!  
  
(Morphman and Dman come back and the others are happy. They are eatting the pizza.)  
  
Dman: Mmm... so good!  
  
(The alarms starts to beep)  
  
Dman: What is that sound?  
  
Morphman: We're going to take a trip to the Oracle. 


	5. The Vending Oracle

The Chosen One: The Vending Oracle (The Matrix people are at the ship. Morphman, Meow, and Dman are getting ready to use the Simulatrix)  
  
Morphman: We're going to see the Oracle.  
  
Dman: What's a Oracle?  
  
Morphman: He's the person that foresees the future.  
  
Dman: What's foresee?  
  
Morphman: It is basically predicting...  
  
Dman: What's a basically?  
  
Morphman: Just shut up! You will find out! Trainity, take us to the Oracle.  
  
Trainity: Ok. (pushes a button and Morphman, Meow, and Dman are at the front of the door at Oracle's house)  
  
Dman: I remember watching "The Matrix" that we'll see strange people doing strange things.  
  
Meow: Huh? You know what's behind that door?  
  
Dman: Yea. There's this boy bending a spoon using his mind. Another child making blocks float.  
  
Meow: Idiot. You're just a complete idiot.  
  
Morphman: Ok. Let's just go in.  
  
(They enter and saw one kid bending a fork with his mind and another girl making pencils float)  
  
Meow: Ha! It's a fork, not a spoon. And those aren't blocks. They're pencils!  
  
Morphman: Hush, Meow. There it is. The Oracle.  
  
(The two walk towards it. It is just a woman made out of metal. There is a coin insert at her mouth.)  
  
Meow: You brought the quarters?  
  
Morphman: Yes I did.  
  
(Morphman takes out a quarter and inserts it in the mouth. A tumbling sound is heard and a little piece of paper and mint comes out of the ear and lands on Morphman's hand.)  
  
Morphman: (unfolding the paper) It says "Meow is the chosen one. Good for you." Wow. Nice future. Let's put in another quarter to see what future ends up for Dman over there.(eats the mint)  
  
(Morphman inserts a quarter and a piece of paper and mint comes on Morphman's hand again.)  
  
Morphman: (unfolding the paper) It says "Be on guard for the little ones will rebel." Huh? What does that mean?  
  
(Morphman and Meow turns their head and are shocked as a boy attempts to stab Dman with the bending fork.)  
  
Dman: Someone help me! Is this how he reacts when I threaten him to use a spoon instead of a fork? Ow! The girl is throwing pencils at me!  
  
(Morphman and Meow runs away, leaving Dman to figure how to battle against the kids using his own mind. Oh the horror!)  
  
Dman: Oh thanks a lot guys. Well, if there's one thing I would want to do before I leave...  
  
(Dman runs to the vending Oracle and punches the chest and it opens. The quarters are spilling out.)  
  
Dman: (picking up many quarters as possible) Jackpot!!!!  
  
(Dman stuff the quarters in his pockets and runs out of the house. He looks around and finds something horrible. Three men dressed in Chicken suit are pointing their guns at Dman.) 


	6. The End

Author's note: I apologize for the weird paragraph format. Man, stupid web format messing up my story! This is really the best part! Thanks for visiting. Leave reviews!

The Chosen One: The End

(Dman stuff the quarters in his pockets and runs out of the house. He looks around and finds something horrible. Three men dressed in Chicken suit are pointing their guns at Dman.)

Narrator: As we left off, Dman is in a perilous situation as three men in chicken suits are aiming their guns at Dman. But using his wit as his weapon, Dman figures a way how to battle these three armed men alone.

Dman: (Throws quarters at one agent) Take that, you evildoers!

(The agent is dodging the quarters, but the quarters only went a foot away from Dman)

Agent #2: What the heck are you doing?

Agent #1: I'm dodging bullets, idiot.

Agent #3: Sir, those aren't bullets. They're actually quarters being thrown by some idiot who thinks quarters are lethal. And another thing, the quarters didn't go far enough. So it isn't necessary to do your bullet-dodging.

Agent #1: (Stops dodging and looks at his agents with scorn) Look, you morons! I'm the lead agent here! I do whatever I want. So shut your sappy mouths as I do my bullet-dodging. Just leave me alone until I'm done! (Continues to dodge bullets)

Agent #2: What should we do?

Agent #3: Get that guy!

Dman: You can't get me! Dodge this. (Throws quarters at Agent #2. It hits him and some quarters broke his big puffy Mickey Mouse sunglasses)

Agent #2: You broke my glasses. You broke my valuable sunglasses that was on sale at Sav-ons. I'll never forgive you. (Walks away in tears)

Agent #3: Sir, we have come to tell you that you are working with the enemies.

Dman: Huh? What?

Agent #3: They have been stealing pizza from Bob's Pizza. So far, it has cost the owner one billion dollars damage.

Dman: What should I do now?

Agent #3: You must destroy them. You must destroy them all!

Dman: Sure, why not. If I do, what do I get?

Agent #3: One of these chicken samples.

Dman: Wow! Consider the mission done.

(Dman returns to the spaceship with a box of pizza. Trainity, Meow, and Morphman were impressed)

Meow: How did you managed to get that pizza?

Dman: I defeated the agents. Here, have some. It's on me.

Trainity: Wow. How sweet.

Morphman: You know, Dman, I always thought you were the moron. (everyone except Dman are eating) It's true. But I noticed something different. You brought pizza to us. It is just beautiful. Dman, will you forgive me.

Trainity: Yea, will you? I'll go out with you.

Meow: I'll be your best friend.

Dman: I hate when there's endings like this. Because it's too late.

Morphman, Trainity, and Meow: WHAT!

Dman: In the pizza, there are lots of vitamin C and all that healthy stuff!

(Morphman, Trainity, and Meow died because they only eat fatting stuff)

Dman: Yes, readers, this is the dumbest ending you'll ever read. But hey, it sure beats the ending of Matrix: Reloaded.

Narrator: And so Dman brought world peace and all that stuff. Blah blah blah. Bottomline, it's the end. Face it. No matter how terrible this story's ending is, too bad.

Some Guy: Hi, I'm Some Guy. While I was directing The Chosen One, there were lots of difficult—

Narrator: Hey Mr. Guy, this is just a script. It was never a movie.

Some Guy: Hey! I get to make up anything I want. Who are you? You're just some nameless narrator.

Narrator: Hey! At least I don't have a retarded name like "Some Guy". Were your parents low on vocabulary skills to give you a proper name?

Some Guy: That's it. Take this.

Narrator #2: And so the narrator and Some Guy fight until both of them were transported to the nearest hospital. Thank you for reading The Chosen One.


End file.
